Tuesday, January 11, 2005

I need more cowbell! (and one crappy ass job)

I'm Bruce Dickinson. Yes, THE Bruce Dickinson. The song is great, but it could use more cowbell. Guess what... I got a fever. And the only prescription, is more cowbell!

For those not in the know, those words were uttered by Christopher Walken while he was hosting Saturday Night Live one of his many times. The sketch revolved around the 70s rock band, Blue Oyster Cult, who were probably best known for their song "(Don't Fear) The Reaper". Walken played the part of the band's producer for that song. If you haven't seen the sketch, click here. I crack up every time I see it.

To be honest, I think music today could use some more cowbell. Ever listen to that ugly skank chick, Ashlee Simpson? I'd rather be subjected to an hour of straight cowbell than listen to that nastiness.

How about anything new by Ozzy Osbourne? Word is he is going to re-record Eric Clapton's "Tears in Heaven". Clapton's version was good. Me? Give me the cowbell before I listen to Ozzy warble his shit.

From now on, everytime you hear a crappy-ass song, think of it with some cowbell added. You know it'll put a grin on your face. That, and you'll realize you really need to change the station.

For some reason, I can't get the Bus Boys 1980 classic, "Did You See Me?" out of my head. "...spend all day, shinin' shoes....when I got home, I wanted somethin' to do..." Classic song. It needs no cowbell.

What a shitty job.

I am talking about the latest trend of local pizza joints to take their worst employee and outfit them in a sandwich board, costume or stupid shirt/hat combo of some sort, hawking their pizza for $5.

These morons are everywhere.

It seems like every pizza place you drive by, you see some poor asshole standing their with a sign he/she has to hold up advertising a cheap pizza. Its like being a pizza whore. Hell, its even more degrading than being a real whore. At least a real one gets paid more than minimum wage and doesn't have to hold up a sign to passers by.

What a degrading job. I'd rather shovel horse shit and put it in a bucket than stand out with the pizza for sale sign.

Pizza does sound good though. Ham, mushroom and onions. I wonder if that $5 piece of crap pie costs more with more than pepperoni on it. Damn Mike Illitch. Little Caesars used to be the best pizza in town. Now, its nothing more than fast food crap.

I'd think I need more cowbell now.