Joey Ballgame, Chunky Chili and Chick TV

Talk about being all over the map.

That is where I am headed with this latest installment on the Proc Blog.

In this issue, I will cover such diverse topics as the Detroit Lions quarterback, canned chili and television aimed at a female audience.

Here we go.

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Joey Ballgame - Lions Quarterback

When my beloved Detroit Lions drafted Joey Harrington with the 3rd pick of the 2002 draft, I was pretty pumped up. It appeared on paper (I love that term "on paper") that the Lions had picked up the second coming of Joe Montana.

Did they really get the next Joe Montana?

Well, they haven't -- yet.

Call me a slappy, but if the Lions could ever get an offensive line that can run block, I do think that Joey (he needs to change it to just "Joe") Harrington will be a serviceable quarterback. The Lions rank 32nd in rushing this year. In case you are wondering where that ranks, well, its at the bottom. Last, even. Without a running game, the pressure is shifted to the quarterback to make plays. However, when teams know you are going to pass, they drop back in coverage and make life that much harder for the QB.

Will the Lions ever get that elusive running game going?

I don't know. I have a feeling they will continue to be at the bottom of the league in rushing and that Mr. Harrington, "Joey Ballgame" around these parts, will take the blame. And, in grand Detroit sports team fashion, they will let him go, where he will flourish for another team.

Oh well, another frustrating Lion's season.

1957. The Lions win it all.

Sigh.


Chunky Chili

As I sat camped out on my Laz-E-Boy with beverage in hand watching the NFL a few weeks ago, I was overwhelmed by the number of commercials for Campbell's Chunky Chili. Normally, you put the word "chunky" in front of anything and I get a bit grossed out, but I was intrigued, seeing as I dig chili. Visions of tailgaters munching down on warm bowls of chili while imbibing in alcoholic beverages and throwing footballs seemed to beckon to me.

I thought to myself: I must have this chili.

So, off I was to the local grocery store to finalize my conquest of this supposed, can delight.

Was there anyway a canned chili could compete with homemade?

Yes.

This shit is good. Decent even. I polished off the contents with a splash of Red Hot and crackers added and declared it "good".

Chunky Chili has got it goin' on.


Chick TV

What is up with all the cable/satellite stations for women out there? We have Oxygen, We, Leftime and Oh! that I know of. I mean, seriously, how many times can each of these stations show a Hugh Grant movie? I think I've seen "Four Weddings and a Funeral" listed on one of these stations at least once a week for the past month.

What am I doing checking the guide for these stations you ask?

Well, my significant other, Angie, has it on her "Favorites" list on the channel guide. For some reason, the TV is always on her favorites. Go figure.

Now, many woman might argue that ESPN is for men, but that is not true. They sometimes show woman's pro basketball (which no one watches).

I want my own channel.

I want to be the new Ted Turner.

PROC TV.

My station will show sports programs complete with my announcers that can swear and say anything they want like, "Hey, Joey Harrington sucks today. It looks like he stayed up late watching the Oxygen channel. What a puss.".

I'd have my own game shows to where contestants would answer sports-related questions to win cases of Chunky Chili.

I'd also have reruns of "Everybody Loves Raymond" and the original "Twilight Zone" running all the time.

My station would not show "Four Wedding and a Funeral" or any other Hugh Grant movie for that matter.

Oh! We need Oxygen in this Lifetime.

Not on TV we don't.

We are men.

PROC TV. Ask you cable or satellite provider about it.