This Week in Softball - The Cabin Fever Edition

Gypsies...tramps and thieves, Sidney Crosby haters, rugby players from Arkansas, German dudes that import frieight and guys named Tim...

Welcome to This Week in Softball - The Cabin Fever Edition

Hello people.

For those of you who were not available to attend last night's Cabin Fever Beer Swilling, we here at TWIS thought we'd provide you with a much-needed, informative recap of the night's festivites.

WHO IS THAT MAN? 

Our man Jeff "Jump" Smith walked into the KofC last night and went virtually unnoticed due to the shaving off of his decades-old goatee. Proc looked at him and said, "That guy looks like Jeffy. Oh, its not him.". Dave responded, "Its Jeff!!!". Shock and awe took over. Gone was the facial hair he has had since age 14. It was quite disturbing and almost surreal. Later Schmenge came in and sat down at the table and had no idea it was Jeff. We here at TWIS have attached a picture of an artist's rendering of how the new, madeover, Jeff, sans glasses and facial hair, might look to you if you would've been there to see him.

TENNIS ANYONE?

Last night our man Dugger was bragging about his abilities on the tennis and raquetball courts. It seems he has joined the Dearborn Racquet & Health Club and fancies himself some kind of semi-pro on the court. He let us all know how he beat Jeff, 6-3 and 4-3 (the set was shortened due to the old men being tired) in Tennis and how he is in a Racquetball League. It was also disclosed that he gets beat in racquetball nearly every week by guys as old as 68 years old. The conversation, fueled by 8 buckets of beer, escalated, when Schmenge mentioned he played tennis in high school. Dugger replied to this with the scalding statement, "Schmenge, I didn't know you had an athletic bone in your body!". From there it was on. Look for the "Schmenge - Dugger Tennis Match" soon. This is huge. It'll be like Billie Jean King vs. Bobby Riggs II, only really gay. We have attached another picture of what these two participants will look like on the court. Stay tuned for details as this tennis match WILL happen.

WAS THAT DIETER?

We were also joined last night by Mister Jim "K"ramer, ladies and gentlmen. Jim brought along a dude from their company, Kuehne-Nagle, named Yjorn (we here at TWIS were buzzed last night and know we are spelling this wrong). Anyhow, Yjorn reminded us of the dude Dieter from the Saturday Night Live skit, "Sprockets!" (Now we dance!). As the night concluded, Yjorn the German bonded with Schmenge the Swede and will be attending Schmenge's IRISH St. Patty's Day Party on the 19th. You know its good times when Germany, Sweden, Ireland and the USA get their party on. Pic of Yjorn attached.

Thank you to Jeffro Bardelli for buying us beers last night even though he wasn't there.

Thanks to Focker for the cigar(s).

And thanks to the Indian bastage that called Proc at the bar and made him go back into work for awhile.

Its been a long winter boys. Spring and the Schmenge-Dugger Tennis Match can't come soon enough.

Anybody want to play softball?

-PROC